Sweet Sleep

Two months ago, Helen Grace started waking up in the middle of the night being scared of monsters or witches. She learned that if she were scared, I’d lay down with her. And then she became insistent that I sleep in her bed or her in my bed. Thus began a sleepless two months of bed hopping in the Toohig household.

After a good pep talk with a friend at lunch, I decided Monday was ‘the day’ for some tough love…that would only benefit ALL of us in the long run. It was time to get some sleep again!

Last night, I started preparing her after bath time as she had her milk that we were each going to sleep in our own bed and that she was going to be a big girl. She cried/whined a little bit, but when we went up to her room, she was all excited about picking out her books and cuddling in bed. We even talked about what her reward would be for sleeping like a big girl- she requested a green cupcake {random}. As I started our prayers, I told her to snuggle in because I was going downstairs after that, and then the tears started again. After prayers, I gave her a big kiss, told her I loved her, and left her room.

She erupted. Huge, fat, ugly fits. She came out of her room carrying her pillow, blanket, lovie, and baby doll at least ten times. Each time, I’d take her back to her room, kiss her, and tell her I loved her. As I closed the door behind me, she’d wail, “Waaaaaiiiit, Mommmmmmy!” Now that was hard. Many deep breaths to push down my tears. After a few trips, she figured out that if she cried and screamed as she left her room, I’d hear her and start toward her to steer her back to her room. So she decided to outsmart me and silently sneak out of her room and down the hall; however, I could still hear her pitter patter. One time as I met her in the hallway, she THREW her blanket and babies down and then THREW herself down on top of them in anger. As I pointed her back to her bed, she STOMPED down the hall with a determined little march (arms swinging too) saying, “I’m SO MAD! I’m SO MAD!” She got in bed, laid down, let me cover her up, and kept repeating her mantra. {Replaying in my mind that little stomp/march with her big bottom lip stuck out at least made me laugh and helped me push back the sadness.} But…that was the last I heard from her at bedtime, and she finally drifted off to sleep! All in all, the protest lasted about 20-30 minutes. Not too bad in the whole scheme of things.

She woke up once in the middle of the night, maybe around 2 a.m. I put her back in bed, she quickly escaped once more (before I even made it down the stairts), but after I put her back in bed again, that was the end of the middle-of-the-night shenanigans. I woke up at 5 a.m. to a sweet little voice in my ear whispering, “Mommy!” With only 30 minutes more of sleep to go, I pulled her in bed with us.

Tonight, I was worried how attempt #2 was going to go. She protested a little as we discussed it before bedtime (“You have to go to bed because Mommy has to go to bed too”) and again as we read and prayed, but she was much easier to have a conversation with about it this time. She wasn’t throwing a fit, just crying a little. She would say, “I miss you, Mommy,” and perhaps because I’m off tomorrow, it was easier for both of us to deal with since I could say we’ll have all day Wednesday together. I gave her a kiss, told her I loved her, and she squeaked out a little, “I love you too.” She quieted down much more quickly this time, made one brief escape, but has now been snoozing for an hour and a half.

Might we be turning a very difficult, emotional corner to a brighter and more rested future?!

****UPDATE:  Last night, she woke up very briefly two times. I just walked her back to bed, and she laid down and went straight back to sleep with no fuss. She showed up at our door around 5 a.m. again, and she crawled into our bed. Tonight, she was a little whiny about wanting to go to my bed as we got ready for bed, but there were no tears. After prayers as I was kissing her goodnight, she said, “Bye, Mommy.” I asked her, “What did you say?!,” thinking I didn’t hear her correctly. “Bye, Mommy,” she repeated. She reminded me to keep her door cracked and told me, “I love you too.” And that was that. Not a single tear. Wow.